How to use a “microcoach”
Getting a new job offer? Selling your company? Trying to raise money? Things often get hard in a negotiation when you reach the micro-mechanics…
“The investor says they’re going to send a term sheet tomorrow. Should I tell other investors?” “The company wants me to propose what I should get paid. Should I?” “They want a long list of diligence items. Should I give them that?”
These micro-mechanical choices totally matter to the outcome of a negotiation. They matter even more to how you build the relationship, and what the ongoing collaboration is like.
While there are plenty of books and experts on negotiation principles, you need practice to apply their principles. You can’t read a book to learn how to walk a tightrope. One clumsy email and you can fall.
So, to do your best, you probably need a person to guide you — a microcoach.
Some of the principles sound obvious; it’s choreographing them while walking the tightrope that’s hard.
> Parallelism. For every give there’s a comparable get… but what’s my “get” if they’re asking me to do one more interview before they offer me the job?
> Avoiding traps, like negotiating against yourself… but what if they ask me for what range of price I’d accept to sell my company?
> Staying ethical. Don’t lie! … but is it lying if I imply that I’m getting an offer next week when I’m unsure if I am? (Yes.) It also happens it’s much easier to be straightforward than to keep track of half-truths, so you’re more likely to get the result you want because you won’t botch it.
> Stay frosty. Know that “every M&A deal dies three times on the way to the altar”… know when not to panic.
> Be empathetic. Only by deeply understanding them can you get what you want.
So what can you do to learn micro-mechanics of negotiation?
1. Practice. The more you do it, the better you get. Which is great as a life lesson, but doesn’t really help you in THIS negotiation you’re in RIGHT NOW.
2. Reflect. Learn from what happened, ask questions explicitly after the deal is done to diagnose how certain moments felt to the other side. (“When I said I would only work there at a salary of X, were you going to walk away?”) Again, useless for THIS negotiation.
3. Get a micro-coach. If you wing it, you’ll miss opportunities. Your micro-coach should be someone who can be on speed dial, call by call, email by email, text by text.
Give them the context they need for the little decisions. (“What’s the role of the person who asked you for that diligence?”)
Qualifications for your micro-coach:
> Experienced in the type of situation you’re in so they know the norms. Don’t ask your uncle the real estate lawyer to help with VC term sheet negotiation. Knows to ask for the context they need.
> Aligned with you in terms of values (e.g., not lying).
> Understands if there’s a gender, race, or other lens to your negotiation — because if there’s an impact to that, you want them to know it deeply.
> Available in real time. (Nothing worse than getting the *most important email* just when your coach goes AWOL.)
> Ideally, has an already-established relationship with you. This is going to be an important negotiation (or else you wouldn’t be seeking support) — it’s no time to be getting to know a person. You need to be able to ask basic questions (“do I need to respond right away?”) — most people make errors when they fail to realize that every interaction in a negotiation matters.
> Lacks ego about whether you “take their advice” — only cares about the result. Every micro-mechanic is a bet, and there’s (almost) never an obviously right answer. Your coach gives you alternatives, helps you reason it out. You make the call, and live with the consequences.
It helps if your micro-coach is also there to support you through the inevitable emotional ups and downs. You’ll ride a roller coaster during the process, and that person can keep you in your seat.
Personally I love serving as a micro-coach — especially for founders we’ve backed at our venture firm, Bloomberg Beta— because it’s often intense and fun and over quickly and can change a person’s life. (Again, usually after I’ve known the person for a while and worked with them…) There are also advisers that you can hire to do this for you.
